Well, the unofficial last day of summer has come and gone and you can put me in that class of people who are very much looking forward to Fall arriving! However, before it gets here I have to reflect on what has been the best summer for me in more ways than one! For the first time in a long time, I really experienced Summer and all that it has to offer! Back yard grilling, day time dates, meeting up with friends, and sitting in reflection with a glass of wine as the sun goes down. This summer was truly MY definition of a hot girl summer! And boy have I been thankful for it!
I’ve vaguely mentioned this before here on the blog, but in being a bit more transparent, I have to admit, my mental health the past couple of years has been a bit of a roller coaster. In 2015, during an extremely busy and hectic time in my life, I was diagnosed with anxiety and panic disorder and initially tried to manage it on my own. About a year later I decided to go anti-depressants out of sheer frustration and exhaustion.
The meds did what they were supposed to do and stabilized me so that I could function but after a year and a half, I started to feel numb. I went from being overstimulated and anxious about everything to not feeling much of anything, and my energy always felt zapped. So, last year I decided to go off them and have spent the past 12 months tapering, discontinuing, and experiencing prolonged withdrawal symptoms.
It was rough, but in the end so worth it. Because as spring gave way to what’s turned out to be the best summer, the old me, or should I say this new and improved version of me emerged. For the first time in a long time when people asked me how I was and I answered “great”, I truly meant it! I know longer felt like this shelled version of myself.
Now, I’m NOT anti-medication at all! I just don’t believe it was best for my specific situation long term. Discontinuing medication has forced me to address the underlying issues causing my disorders in the first place. And after years of therapy sessions, making healthier lifestyle choices, working less, cutting certain foods out my diet and exercising consistently, I have been feeling better than ever!
It couldn’t have come at a better time because also this summer, I got married! Yes! A couple of months ago I married the love of my life and it was everything we wanted it to be. And even better, we were able to experience it with so many of our family and friends. Now, 2 months into this next chapter of my life, I’m in the best shape, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I’m grateful for the journey, and I’m grateful to be sitting here writing this blog post in a pure state of happiness!
So, summer 2019, thank you, for being so good to me! Fall, you’re up next!